Respecting each other on a night out

Everyone should be able to have fun on a night out. The best way to make sure this happens is to respect others and think about how your actions might affect them. What feels like fun to you might upset or offend someone else.

It’s especially important when it comes to touching someone else. We’re not talking about bumping into someone by accident. If you touch someone without their permission, it could upset them—and it might even be against the law.

Here are some things people say to excuse touching someone in a sexual way without their consent. None of these are acceptable:

• “I was really smashed!”
  Being drunk or high is not an excuse. If you get too touchy when drinking, know your limits. Being out of it doesn’t excuse sexual assault or rape.
• “I’m just a tactile person!”
  That’s not an excuse. You might be fine with touching, but others might not be. Unwanted touching can feel scary or threatening.
• “I asked first!”
  That’s not enough. Unless the person clearly says “yes,” it’s not consent. People can change their minds, especially if alcohol or drugs are involved. Saying something while doing it is not asking permission.
• “They didn’t tell me to stop!”
  Silence is not consent. Some people freeze when they’re scared. If someone doesn’t say “yes,” don’t go ahead.
• “They kept making eye contact and brushed by me when we were dancing!”
  That doesn’t mean they want to be touched. Eye contact or brushing past could be accidental. Start with a conversation.
• “My friend just did the exact same thing!”
  That doesn’t mean it’s OK for you. The person might have given your friend permission—but not you.
• “Everyone there was doing it!”
  Just because others are doing something doesn’t mean you should. Speak up if you see something wrong.
• “C’mon – look at how they are dressed!”
  People can wear what they want. Clothes are not an invitation to be touched.

We’ve created posters to help everyone think about how to behave respectfully on a night out so that everyone can have a good time.

If you’ve experienced sexual assault or rape, here are some places that can help:

• Hampshire Police – how to report rape and sexual assault
• Hampshire Police – support for victims of rape and sexual assault
• Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service
• NHS – help after rape and sexual assault